Bryan Reynolds reflects on the importance of taking the time to show loved ones you care.
My older brother Todd and I used to get together for lunch a couple of times a month. Sometimes we’d get sentimental and talk about the good old days, when we were kids. We had the best childhood on the planet — thank you, Mom and Dad.
My dad was a great man. He’s been gone more than 25 years now. He was home every night at 5:30, and we had dinner as a family. There were no iPhones back in those days. We’d sit around the kitchen table, and then we’d retire to the family room and watch TV. On weekends, we would go to my grandmother’s house. I called her “Mamoo.” She was a heavyset lady with gray hair, always up real high. She was a delight.
Anyway, at one of those lunches, Todd and I got to talking about the old places. We drove by our grandparents’ house, Mamoo and Papaw’s. And then we drove over to the house where the five of us lived until I was nine. Little bitty house, about 900 square feet. Three bedroom, one bath. And Todd and I were sitting there in front of the house, staring at it and talking about memory. Todd drove on, and then he did a U-turn and pulled up in front of a neighbor’s house. “Let’s go say hi,” he said.
In our neighborhood there were three families who’ve lived in the same three houses for 50 years. Most people move every seven years or less. So we knocked on the door. And sure enough, here came Mike Barnhart, our old baseball coach, answering the door in his little shorts. Mike was a sergeant in the Marines. Tough guy. And he said, “Get in here, boys. I’m just back here folding laundry.”
I hadn’t seen this man in 30 years, but he immediately recognized us and invited us inside.
We chatted with Mr. Barnhart for more than two hours while he folded laundry. He showed us pictures of his son and grandkids, you know, having that proud grandpa moment. He had an oxygen tank with him, and he said, “My doctor wants me on that, but I’m not doing it.” And we just had a wonderful talk. Todd and I are both busy guys, and we didn’t really have time for an extended visit. But the time flew by, and we left feeling great.
About a week later, Todd texted me while I was lecturing in Nashville. I called him during a break. “What’s up?” I said.
“You’ll never believe this,” he said. “Mike Barnhart just died.”
He was right. I couldn’t believe it.
We went to the visitation. Afterward, we were having a drink in remembrance of Mr. Barnhart, and his son came up to us. He said, “Hey guys, you’ll never believe how dad went on and on about you guys just randomly showing up at the front door and visiting with him. That really made his day. Thank you for doing that.”
Do something TODAY to let others know that you care about them. They won’t be here forever.
So here’s what I want to say: Take some time out for the people you love and care about. Go visit someone, write a card. Or best of all, go see them in person and give them a hug. Have a conversation with them. If you can’t do that, call them.
Another cool thing is old school. Not an email, not a tax, not a Snapchat. Not Instagram. Not Facebook.
Send a letter.
I got one in March of 2021. I still have it. It was just a little note. It said, “Brian, I have no idea how you find the time to do all that you do. But I really appreciate what you do for appraisers and the appraisal profession. Thank you, DW.”
Thank you, Danny Wiley. That meant a lot to me. And I’ve kept it. It’s in my desk.
I encourage you to reach out to somebody you care about. Maybe it’s a business associate. Maybe it’s a family member.
I’m not a writer. But many years ago, I wrote to my grandmother — just a little note to say, “Hey, thinking about you and the last time I drove you around to see Christmas lights. When’s the last time you saw Christmas lights?”
So my dad picked her up that year for Christmas dinner and took her out for a drive to see the neighborhood Christmas decorations. And then, the year she turned 85, we surprised her and picked her up in a limo bus. We drove around and asked her to show us where she grew up. “I want to see the little house on Cottage that you talked about so often,” we said. “Let’s go down by 4th Street. Show us that house, and show us the one on 3rd Street where you lived in a basement when you were first married and had Todd.” I think her favorite part of the weekend was that drive. Not the dinner, not the gifts. Just having the family together and being heard.
So I encourage you to take the time to go visit somebody, write a letter, make a phone call. If it’s got to be a text, do that. Life is short. Time slips away from you.
I’m going to do better. I’ve got these really cool Appraiser e-Learning note cards, and I’m going start writing notes to people. You should do the same. Take the time out to do something for your loved ones. Write a note, send a silly gift. Candy Cooke sent me a crystal ball one time, and that was a lot of fun. (Thank you for that, Candy.)
We get busy. We feel the pressure to meet deadlines and make a living. But the reason we’re here is people. That’s what it’s all about. Do something TODAY to let others know that you care about them. They won’t be here forever. You may just make their day. And what if, by chance, that day happens to be one of their last here on Earth?
You’ll be glad you took the time.